Patti's Testimony.

Raised a Catholic, I never questioned "Is there a God?"  I had a vague idea about God and His Son, but no relationship.  I would often cry "Oh, God Help me"  many times in my life...and I think He answered some of the times.  If He couldn't help me, then I would do it myself.
 
How funny that seems to me now.  Now that I know God and His Son Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  I became a believer in Christ when things in my life were at a all time high.  I was married, in a loving working relationship.  My husband and I had 2 beautiful children, something we thought we couldn't have, having started so late in life.  We owned our home in the grand City of Boston near where I grew up.  Things were great....until.
 
I Had a routine of dressing the kids and taking them for long walks in the nearby conservation area and explaining how God made all the trees, the flowers, grass and the birds.  I told the kids, how beautiful the world was, how God made everything just for us to enjoy.  I hadn't realized the impression I had made on my son Aaron about God until one day in the early Fall of 1996. 
 
I had dressed the kids up as usual and put them in the baby jogger for our daily jaunt in the woods.  It was, an especially, noisy that  morning.  Everything in the woods was alive. The animals getting ready for the winter ahead.  The squirrels, chipmunks racing around and chattering collecting the acorns, birds chirping, even the steam trickling strongly making its' own music.  So, I guess that is why my son Aaron 3 was deep in thought and using his imagination saying he wanted to "hug" the trees. 
 
"After the run, Honey, you can ok?"  Puff, puff, push the jogger another half mile.
 
A short time later he was crying, I  asked him what was wrong, with a slight tinge of annoyance in my tone of voice. I stopped the jogger and while he answering I'm searching for the source of tears.  Did he put his fingers in the spokes, his foot, for he had a tendency to let his sneaker go bumpily bump on the front wheel.  No, that wasn't it.  I checked 4 month old Raven, no again, she was sound asleep. 
 
"WHAT?...AARON!"  "What is it honey?" I hugged him for he's truly in pain...I couldnt find the source and quit looking as I lift him out of the jogger for more soothing hugs and kisses.  He finally manages to get some words out..
 
" He died!"  Aaron sobbed.
 
I don't understand, I'm trying to think fast.
 
"Who died?" I ask..continuing to hug him.
 
"JESUS".  Simple.
 
GULP!...OHNO what have I done! 
 
"It's ok, honey, it's ok, I know, I know, Jesus died. He died on the cross..Jesus loves you!"   I squeezed Aaron tight to me.  He settles down, smiling> I show relief, but think "WHAT HAVE I DONE!" 
 
My husband Dan and I had yet to discuss a religion in which to raise the kids.  Time not only was fast approaching ..it was here.  I, immediately, set upon going home the quickest way I could. RUN!  I ran like the dickens and paged Danny a 911 call.  (before cell phones).  Danny called right back, in a panic, probably thinking the worst, for I never used our sacred 911 call home NOW number. 
 
When I answered the phone knowing it was him, I answered with "I'm sorry, Oh, I'm so sorry..I didn't know I was doing it.." "
 
"What did you do?" Dan asked. 
 
"I told Aaron about Jesus...I'm sorry, I know we were going to talk about religion, and I've been doing it...I didn't even think it was religion, I mean I don't know, I'm sorry." 
 
"What are we going to do?" I continued in a panic stricken voice.
 
"I'll be right home."
 
This was serious business.  He was home within the hour and met with tears at the door.  LIFE was happening...what do we do? 
 
"Calm down Patti"  soothed Danny.  "You didn't do anything wrong."
 
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry".  I keep saying in a mantra tone.
 
"Now what?" I ask between breathes. 
 
I don't want to raise the kids in a religion"  ( I name religions).
 
I continue and through the crying and anger at the situation, I blurt out.."All I want is the TRUTH!"
 
A light goes on in Danny's head....
 
"TRUTH!"  "I know the truth.."
 
"You do, well, where is it, what is the truth?"  "How come you didn't tell me?"
 
I'm a befuddled and a little annoyed, he's knows the truth and didn't tell me...UNTIL NOW!!"
 
Hmmmm.
 
"Wait here, Patti.. It's downstairs."
 
(say what!)Downstairs?!
 
Danny hurries down the basement and I heard all sorts of noise..boxes being moved, torn open with an urgency sound...about 10 minutes late...I hear "I got it!"
 
He plants on the kitchen table his answer.."A book?"
 
Then I see the letters..in gold..."BIBLE".
 
"The Bible?"
 
"Patti, I had to study religion in college (PC grad) and I studied the Bible and it's the truth."
 
'How do you know?"
 
"I just do." Says Danny.
 
"Let's see, let's read it."
 
So we opened the book with the gold letters that said BIBLE...and started in hte very beginning. "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."
 
"Do you have a problem with that?  I asked Danny.
 
"No, I don't have a problem with that, do you?"
 
" Nope, neither do I."
 
"I believe it."
 
"Me, too."
 
We laugh, we cry, with tears and shout of joy, Jesus died on the cross made from wood of the trees He made for me to tell my children about it.
 
Thank you Aaron, thank you Raven.
 
 
Fellow believers, I prayed to God so many time before I acknowledge Him as my Lord and Savior.  I never really thought of Him as my God.  I truly thought I was here for nothing, because I was "a good for nothing".  Everybody whom I loved always show me harm and hurt me.  I was a mess, I was deep in self absorbing pity. Even when I was the number one distance runner in the world.  I thought I had to do it alone.  I lived in a darkness without hope and I was dying inside, for somebody to love me.
 
I started to run, not to be an athlete.  That was God's plan.  I started to run, to lose weight and to look good in my summer clothes!  How funny that is to me now.
 
Through running God showed Himself to me in so many ways, I didn't see them then, only after I believed and acknowledgd Him in my life.  All the times I prayed for a good performance and He granted them to me...and I didn't say thank you, because I forgot to..until the next race.
 
"Jesus love me, this I know, for the Bible tell me so."
 
I knew about God.  He was in my head, not in my heart.  I experienced so much pain in my life..broken marriages, food disorder, homelessness and the pain of not feeling loved, all of which could have brought me closer to Him.  It was during a time of bliss and joy that I acknowledge Him as my Father.   That's not to say I haven't had a hurtful experiences since...oh I have, but now I see them differently because I know God loves me.
 
In Joy, Patti